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How to Break Up & Move On Without Regrets

by Kristen Moutria, studioD

It should not be hard to break up and move on without regrets. While you may be running through the outcomes or fretting over your boyfriend's reaction, don't worry yourself out of making the decision. If you are considering breaking up, there is good reason. The relationship is not working out. Do what you feel you should do, even if you are afraid, and it will be the healthiest decision you can make.

Analyze your situation. Ask yourself why the relationship is upsetting you, and why you no longer need to be connected to your boyfriend. Perhaps he is taking up too much time, or you feel like the two of you have nothing in common. You do not owe it to your significant other to stay in a relationship, according to Focus on the Family. Do not feel like you must be in a relationship that does not satisfy you merely to keep your lover happy. This is not good for either of you.

Be firm about your decision. Make the choice to end your relationship and let your boyfriend know. Do not listen to him if he tries to manipulate you or talk you out of what you know is best for both of you. If you do, the relationship is unlikely to last long, according to Juliana Breines, who holds a doctorate in social and personality psychology. After you have let him know you cannot be with him any longer, turn your attention to recovering and living your life independently.

Find friends to confide in. You will be happier and have a better time recovering if you have friends that will help support you after this important decision. Sharing your feelings with family may also help get you through this period, according to Help Guide. If you isolate yourself, your stress levels may go up, and you will have a harder time keeping your perspective. Instead, tell someone what you are feeling, and you will be happier and able to face the future.

Focus on the future. Pay attention to all the exciting things that are coming in your life. Looking back will waste time and may even cause you to question your decision. Instead, do not allow yourself to idealize the past and regret the decision. It will take a conscious effort to stop ruminating, according to Vikki Stark, family therapist, educator and director of the Sedona Counselling Centre of Montreal. By making this effort, you can move forward without regret.


About the Author

Kristen Moutria has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Evangel University. She is currently pursuing her Master of Arts in education from the University of Nebraska.

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