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How to Get Your Boyfriend to Do Special Things for You

by Erica Loop

Building a long-term relationship that includes commitment, trust and honesty can help your boyfriend to feel more comfortable in doing special things for you. While attraction may spark your relationship, it is the closeness and commitment aspects that will turn him from a simple hook-up to a real partner. If your boyfriend feels that level of commitment from you, he may open up and treat you in a special way.

Game Off

Mental games and mixed messages don't make for a healthy relationship, writes counselor Susan J. Elliott in the article, "Are You In a Healthy Relationship?" published on the PyschCentral website. Instead of trying to manipulate your man into doing something special, let honesty become a priority. Although it might seem scary to ask for what you truly want, get honest and tell him that you need more of his time, a night out at a restaurant that has real cloth napkins or a birthday present that isn’t a blender.

Constructive Communication

In some relationships one partner may not correctly receive or interpret the concepts or ideas that the other is trying to communicate, writes psychotherapist and marriage counselor Mel Schwartz, in the article, "Communication Is the Heartbeat of Relationship," on the Psychology Today website. Instead of sitting back and hoping that he'll start doing special things for you, speak up and clearly let him know how you are feeling. Hinting or assuming that he “gets it” may not have the same powerful effect as a straightforward, “I need you to spend Saturday afternoon with me instead of in front of the TV.”

Romance and Respect

If you think that your relationship is all roses and jewelry -- for you, that is -- think again. Expecting a one-sided type of respect, in which you get all of the benefits, isn't healthy. When you show your boyfriend that you value his opinions, he will become more likely to do special things for you. Take time to listen to him. Ask him how his day was at work before you get into a snit because he didn’t bring flowers home for you on your nine-month anniversary.

Give and Take

Consider the possibility that your boyfriend also wants you to do special things for him. While these "things" might differ -- it is not likely that he wants a dozen long-stem roses from you -- your relationship needs to include give and take. Paying attention to your guy and treating him like he's special may make him see that he needs to act the same way toward you.Treat him to a dinner at his favorite restaurant or let him choose which DVD to watch.

About the Author

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.

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