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How to Get Your Boyfriend to Not Take You for Granted

by Melissa Lewis

When your boyfriend expects you to treat him like a king, but he doesn’t seem to give a second thought to your needs, your relationship enters an imbalanced and ultimately, unhealthy zone. Whether he’s lazy about doing his share of the work or he leaves you hanging without the courtesy of a quick phone call, he’s giving you the message that you don’t matter. If you want to get your boyfriend to stop taking you for granted, you need to stand up for yourself and let him know it’s not OK.

woman talking with boyfriend

Speak up. Sometimes couples get so comfortable in their routines they all but stop communicating. If you never have a genuine conversation about the issues that trip you up as a couple, your partner has no way of knowing how you truly feel. Brief bickering sessions don’t get to the core of the matter and usually lead to more misunderstanding. Sit your man down and tell him you have needs of your own and it’s time for him to stop making you feel insignificant.

woman talking to man on couch

Set boundaries. Make it clear what sort of treatment you simply will not tolerate. If your boyfriend treats you like a servant, tell him in no uncertain terms you won’t wait on him hand and foot anymore. Setting boundaries is the only way to have a healthy relationship. You may be part of a couple, but you’re still an individual. Decide what your relationship deal-breakers are and share them with your boyfriend.

woman in car

Implement consequences. Once you’ve let your boyfriend know what you won’t stand for, make your statements stick by reacting differently than you would have in the past. If your guy doesn’t show up on time after you’ve told him how rude it is, call a friend and head out without him. If you wait for him to show up like you always have, he might never learn to take you seriously.

woman smiling at man on couch

Respect him in return. If you make a big deal of pointing out the many ways your boyfriend takes you for granted but continue to treat him like your personal slave, he’ll probably slip back into his old behavior and perceive you as the disrespectful one in the relationship. Open your eyes to the ways you might be taking him for granted and nip those behaviors in the bud. Expressing gratitude when your boyfriend makes the effort to change the status quo reinforces your position, but treating him right shows you respect him in return.

Tip

  • Demand to be treated as the important, valuable woman that you are. If your man doesn’t respect you after you give him an opportunity to change his ways, show him the door.

Warnings

  • Women with clear boundaries don’t whine, they inform. State your case calmly and he’ll be more apt to pay attention. Look him straight in the eye and remain firm, even if he initially disregards your concerns.
  • If you always seem to be treated like a doormat in relationships, you might need to work on building your self-esteem so you can stop attracting disrespectful, abusive men into your life.

About the Author

Melissa Lewis has worked as a freelance writer since 2004, gaining much of her experience by working in the marketing/PR field. She writes for various websites, specializing in the areas of marketing, home improvement, cooking and pets. Lewis studied English at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Photo Credits

  • Christopher Robbins/Digital Vision/Getty Images