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Being Bullied at Work Is Negatively Affecting My Marriage

by Stacey Denny, studioD

If workplace bullying is affecting you, your job and your marriage than you must protect yourself from being bullied. "Seventy-seven percent of targets lose or quit their jobs when they are first being bullied," state the experts at Workplace Bullying Inc., a nonprofit agency that educates people on workplace bullying. Deciding to do something about the issue is a step in combating your bully, saving your job and taking the pressure off your marriage.

Am I a Target?

Targets try to rationalize their bully's behavior. It is not your responsibility to understand why someone is a bully. Bullies thrive on your fear and reaction. If you take those things out of your interactions the bully will get less and less payoff from targeting you. Role play possible scenarios with your spouse so you are prepared to handle interactions with this person effectively.

Enlist Your Spouse

According to the WBI, there are three steps you should take to get a bully under control. Name the problem. Just giving this situation a name will help you take charge of it. Telling your spouse can help him understand your tension, and enlisting him in your crusade against the bully can give you an ally.

Health and Strategy

Take an extra day off to heal and plan your counterattack. Make sure that you have your mental and physical health under control by seeing your doctor, counselor or both. Familiarize yourself with the laws about workplace bullying, and read your employee handbook to see if your company has a policy about it in place. Speak to your spouse about the bully and what you plan to do to solve the situation, ask for help with possible strategies.

Expose the Bully

Damage has already been done and approaching the company may not work. You may still get fired but at least you will get fired with your health, integrity, marriage and mental stability intact. It is important that your spouse know that there may be financial backlash if you are fired. Try to prepare her for the worst case scenario.

Stay Healthy

You are not alone. “Upward of 35 percent of the workforce have reported being bullied at work,” states WBI. If you are working for a good company, with excellent policies they may take your advice and get rid of the bully. Either way, you will be better off because you stood up to your bully and decided not to be the victim any longer. This new partnership against a common enemy could even improve your relationship with your spouse.

About the Author

Based in Spokane, Wash., Stacey Denny has been writing articles since 2005 in the "Los Angeles Times" and for various websites. She has been working with men and women transitioning from prison to help them rebuild their lives. She is a certified family development specialist and owns her own transitional living house.

Photo Credits

  • Getty Images/Digital Vision/Getty Images