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How to Approach Your Teen About Being Gay

by Tiffany Raiford, studioD

You want your son to feel he can talk to you about his feelings, but you might not know what to say about homosexuality. If he hasn’t told you he’s gay but you suspect that he is, don’t approach him in an inappropriate manner that will offend him or close him off to you. After all, your suspicions could be wrong. It’s a delicate issue, but you can approach your teen about his sexual orientation in a way that won’t have him feeling as though he’s done something wrong.

Let your teen approach you about his homosexuality, according to the National Institute of Health. He might not be ready to inform you that he is gay, and approaching him about your suspicions might embarrass him, anger him or make him excessively self-conscious.

Use homosexual comic strips or story lines on TV and in movies to approach the subject of homosexuality with your teen, advises the National Institute of Health. If you suspect your teen is gay, ensure that he knows you are open to him approaching you about his feelings. He might want to tell you about his homosexuality but is terrified of your reaction or worries that you will reject him. By demonstrating your acceptance of homosexuality, your teen will know that you will love him no matter who he is attracted to.

Don't ask your teen whether you did something wrong or if you caused his homosexuality, advises the American Academy of Pediatrics. It’s not your fault -- being gay is not a health problem. You didn’t cause it by exposing your teen to chemicals or secondhand smoke when you were pregnant. Even if you feel that having a gay son is not an ideal situation, questions like that do not help foster a continuing relationship with your son.

Accept your teen. His sexual orientation is not a choice he made to get back at you for not letting him stay out later on the weekends. His sexual orientation does not fundamentally change who he is -- no more than being heterosexual would fundamentally change who he is. He is who he is. Accept it.

About the Author

Tiffany Raiford has several years of experience writing freelance. Her writing focuses primarily on articles relating to parenting, pregnancy and travel. Raiford is a graduate of Saint Petersburg College in Florida.

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